Our daughter Heather and her husband Kirk are trying to adopt a baby through LDS Family Services. There is a link to their adoption blog on my blog. Yesterday after two weeks of emailing back and forth with a birth mother and father, they received an email telling them that the parents had chosen another family.
Our hearts are breaking for them as we know how deeply they desire to have a family. Personally I feel that LDSFS should screen the birth parents before they allow them to contact potential adoptive parents. Heather and Kirk's blog is very full of who they are, what they do, when the started the process, where their hearts are and how they feel, etc, and yet these people asked them several questions that were already posted.
Everything is about the birth parents, while I agree that what they are doing is the most heroic and selfless thing that anyone could ever do, I feel very strongly that adoptive parent's hearts should be protected by some screening by their case worker. (There, I have had my little temper tantrum.) I also think that people who adopt babies are doing a very selfless thing, they could very well spend all of their time and money selfishly on them selves.
A year ago they did two invetro procedures that failed. This is truly one of life's mysteries. Why can faithful, kind, loving, responsible people not have children when sweet little innocent babies are born into some pretty horrible circumstances?
I know that our Heavenly Father is in charge and that He is there to help us through our trials. That is a great peace as this question goes unanswered for now. If you want to read Heathers post on here experience this past week, her blog is linked to mine.
Meatball minestrone soup in the crockpot
7 months ago
6 comments:
We too had our hearts broken with our first go around with adoption, which kind of soured is on the whole process. We did have a great success story with "A Act of Love" agency in Sandy, Utah. A more expensive option, but well worth the price given the number of babies they place and the way we were treated.
I am not saying LDSFS is a bad option, but they really are limited because of the small pool of adoptive babies to draw from. Plus, we have learned that you get much of the expenses back with tax credits.
We wish them well, but it sure can be a two edged sword that cuts deeply, but can also turn out well. Good luck.
Well said Kathy. I know Heather was saying similar feelings to me last night. I just cry for them each time they hit a wall. They have a lot of faith and hope. They are two very strong people. I love them dearly.
Jeremy and I struggled for 6 years and I remember very clearly the feelings of frustration, sadness, madness, and questioning why.
I remember working at the orphanages in Africa and thinking the same thing... way do so many babies become abandoned when there are so many people who want to take care of them. We wish them more success in the future and lots of love!
My heart is breaking for them too. That is one of life mysteries and has always baffled me. I will keep them in my prayers and know that after this heartache there will be something well worth the wait in their future....
I told Paul that the first question I am going to have when going thru the veil is...how did you decide where to send the children? Paul smiled and said...Sharon, I think at that point you be very quiet and listen. Now I say...the first thing I will ask when I go thru the veil is...Paul, could you for one time in your life just say NO and have stayed with us! I am so sorry...I love Heather...she deserves a whole armful of little ones!
Our thoughts and prayers and with Heather and her husband. You are a good momma! I know it's frustrating when we don't know why something is or isn't happening; and we don't know how to fix it; or we can't see any reason why it shouldn't be happening. Faith is not an easy thing sometimes. Your family is so loving and supportive of one another; I am sure things will work out the way they were meant to.
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